It’s 12.31, I’m in my pants, this seems like the perfect opportunity to tell you why I hate all of you.
Now I’m somewhat of a cynical person, and therefore I do hate a lot of things, but one thing that has become an increasing daily annoyance has to be Facebook. Not Facebook in particular, that’s fine, but the people on it, my ‘friends’ continue to make me sigh every time I scroll down the news feed, why I here you ask, well....
Firstly I’m aware that Facebook is a social networking site and as such it is for sharing things with your friends. However it seems that it has quickly become an outlet for people’s thoughts which other people would normally not care about. Examples being, I just ate a cake, or I’m looking forward to tonight. There is nothing wrong with these actions and feelings, but just think before you type them, will people want to know this? Is there anything significant for what I am about to post? Because the answer 9/10 will be no, there is no merit to your incredibly dense public statements. So for the love of God and Satan, because I’m sure he is pissed off by it too, please stop with the constant updates of what you are doing, or what you are going to do, because I bet my fucking balls you would be the first to complain if somebody was to stalk you, considering how easy you make it for internet weirdo’s to look at you, quite frankly you deserve it.
Secondly, relationships, I’m aware people have them, as a single man, believe me I am painfully aware that others are in relationships. Now, I’ll start off by saying I have no problem with a guy writing on his girlfriends wall, saying that he loves her, and vice versa, that’s fine. What really makes my blood shoot from my eyes, is statuses like, ‘I have the best boyfriend in the world’, or ‘I’m so lucky to have met my boyfriend, I remember it was a summers day when we did meet, he was wearing a white t-shirt, which had a stain on the colour, I remember the bird songs that day, one was slightly out of tune, his song should have been A sharpe, instead it was A Flat, and I couldn’t understand, but when I saw him that didn’t seem to matter, but now it’s been 3 weeks together and I’m the happiest girl in the universe.’ FUCK OFF with stuff like this, it’s fine that you are happy with your partner, but it is not necessary to rub it in people’s faces its really really not, don’t do it, or I swear I will go to the police, and I don’t care if its not an actual crime, I will make them throw you in prison.
Thirdly, for all you manic depressives out there, there are plenty of proper outlets for stressful situations. Facebook is NOT! Fucking one of them. Please please, stop with statuses like, ‘I’ve had such a stressful day’, ‘I’m so sad, that I’m considering removing the keys from the keyboard and slashing my own wrists. I do have sympathy for people who have problems, I have them myself, but that sympathy simply washes it away when you put it on a social networking site, in a vain attempt to make yourself feel better by getting some sort of attention from anyone. Think about it, a lot of people you are friends with wont be close friends, do you really want them knowing that sort of thing? I certainly wouldn’t do, talk to someone privately about it seriously.
Fourth and finally, it’s the use of text speak or whatever the fuck it’s called. I’m talking LOL (which ive just noticed is in the dictionary for Microsoft Word, Bill Gates you cunt!). I’m also talking LFMAO and that sort of thing. I genuinely saw a status that was something along the lines of, ‘I’m so sad and depressed, nobody cares about me, lol.’ Umm... ok, firstly back to my third point, don’t post shit like this, but if you do, for the love of all that is fucking holy, do not put that, that makes you laugh out loud. Shit if that’s the case then you might want to see a doctor because you probably are bi polar. I truly hate the use of anything like that, because often when something like that is used its pretty frigging obvious that you didn’t laugh, you might not have even smiled and you have just used it as a vague attempt to seem interesting. Beware use it with me and I will quite happily not talk to you anymore, that goes for LMFAO, ROFL and LSMMKCOOME (laughing so much my kidneys come out of my ears). Seriously it makes the internet so much harder, anyway I am now of to post this blog on Facebook, LOL !
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