Continuing with the posting of stuff nobody will care about, I found this little film scene that I wrote aaaaages ago. It is supposed to be a Zombie film, and this would be the opening scene. It borrows heavily from other Zombie films, so its not exactly unique, and I doubt I will carry on with it as it was more to practice my screenwriting than anything else, but meh here it is anyway. Suppose I should say something funny, ummmmmmm... oh here is one, so like, how can you tell if there has been an elephant in your fridge? A hunter turns up and starts spraying your kitchen with bullets because he wants the ivory! Well fuck you that's the best I can do.
[Interior, a small bedroom. A woman gets out of the bed and stands. She pushes her arms up into the air for a full body stretch and yawns. She walks over to the window and opens one curtain without looking outside. In the bed lies a man. He has now stretched out his arms into the space where she was lying.]
Claire: Morning.
[The man makes a grunting noise, he cannot yet muster the strength to speak in his sleepy state.]
Claire: I’m gonna make some tea. Want some?
Richard: Yeah.
[The woman leaves the room, the camera pans around to show the apartment. It is a fair size and just about tidy. A flush is heard in the background. The camera pans back to the bathroom door which opens and the woman emerges scratching her head. Her hair is sticking up in various places in need of a hairbrush. She shuffles into the kitchen. On her feet she wears a pair of Mickey Mouse Slippers. She fills the kettle and puts it on boil. She stands motionless for a few seconds as the kettle begins to make that sound that kettles make. She realises she needs tea bags and sugar. She wanders over to a cupboard. However it is not a traditional kitchen cupboard. It is a full size wardrobe type thing that a person might normally keep coats in. She opens it up and the shelves are stacked with food and other supplies. She grabs a box of tea bags and the sugar. She goes back to the kitchen and gets some mugs out of the dishwasher. She then makes the tea.
Change of scene and we return to the bedroom. The man is now slightly more awake but still in a similar position to how he was before. The camera quickly turns back to the door and the woman re – enters the bedroom. She sits down on the bed and sips her tea. It is still too hot to drink.]
Claire: urgh, I think these tea bags might be off. We are gonna need some more soon.
Richard: Yeah, I’ll probably get some later or something.
[Pause]
We really need to be more careful about use by dates and things.
Claire: Well that’s a bit difficult. Considering how much sodding food we have in there.
Richard: Well yeah but these are kind of strange circumstances don’t you think.
Claire: I find it funny that you care about tea bags. Considering what happened last week.
Richard: Oh God.
[Pause]
Are you still on about that?
Claire: Well, can you blame me?
[Pause]
It was ridiculous.
Richard: I thought you were over that now.
Claire: What gave you that impression?
Richard: Well this is the first time you have said anything since.
Claire: Yes well I’m still annoyed. After Ten years you still don’t know when I’m upset?
Richard: You must be joking? You are harder to read than Lord of The Rings with the words turned upside down.
[Pause. The man chuckles.]
Claire: Why does everything with you have to be a joke?
Richard: Because Michael McIntyre isn’t on the telly anymore.
Claire: You see what I mean.
[Pause]
Just be serious for once. I think this situation warrants it.
Richard: Do you now? [Rhetorical question]
Claire: Well I generally think that what happened comes under the serious category yes.
Richard: Well I can’t afford to think about it too much. Otherwise there is no point.
[The couple continues talking to each other. The camera goes up and leaves the room. It turns to the window and goes out through the glass. It looks at the sun and suddenly turns down to the pavement below. There stand hoards of zombies moaning and stumbling through the streets. The title of the film suddenly smacks into the front of the screen (The Chorus to Pink Floyd’s ‘Goodbye Blue Sky’ plays over flashbacks of the Zombie apocalypse)
Scene ends.
