Second one in one night, are you sure? Well ok but this one better not be some sort of attempt to talk about your personal life
Oh for goodness sake...
So here is the thing right, I’m approaching the end of my third year, the problem is, I reckon I need another 5 or 6 years to actually decide what to do, and by decide I mean wait for an opportunity to present itself that is A – a good opportunity and B – not shit. I know a lot of people say they don’t know what to do at my age, but that doesn’t exactly help seeing as I kind of need to know. I want to travel but I need a job, and realistically I won’t be getting hired as a senior executive any time soon, seeing as the only reference I have on my C.V. is my own Father who is biologically programmed to give me at least a satisfactory reference. Therefore I may end up working in retail once more, which from my experience is the equivalent of having rats forced into my orifices via tubes that are lubed up with cyanide gel whilst also being on fire as I watch an episode of Take Me Out, which just happens to be a compilation episode of Paddy Mcguinesse’s many rhyming jokes. Which isn’t as fun as it sounds. I worked for a couple of months selling shoes, which was so mind numbingly dull that I seriously considered going all ninja and robbing that place one night just so I could have an interesting day the next time I went back there, but alas my throwing stars were in the wash.
AAAAANNYYYWAY, I seem to have gotten a little bit sidetracked, my point is I need some direction in life, maybe some kind of career path that is a realistic possibility, I don’t think I am asking for too much, but if I can get too much then, well, that would be super duper. I think I deserve something at least having missed out on so many things in life, which I know are important, because I saw them on the tele. Maybe I could do something with blogging, a professional blogger, who uses his blog to feed the hungry and protect the troops, and somehow earn a comfortable living that will buy me a sofa, T.V, computer, and at least one completely outrageous impulse purchase that when people come around to my home (another thing that I will buy with my millions of dollars made writing blogs) I can point at, and say,
‘Look at my cool thingamajig in the corner there, the thing that my T.V is sitting on, next to the computer, no, not the fridge (oh yeah ill need a fridge for milk and haribo) the thingamajig, the green thing, the green thing with the lazers... that, yes that!’
See, without a job how will I be able to actually live out that perfectly plausible scenario, somebody help me for god sake!
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